For updated COVID-19 precautions and FAQs, please click here for more information.

Modern Estate Planning Blog

Elder Law & Special Needs Planning

Folsom Elder Law Attorney: Having THAT Conversation with an Elderly Parent

May 26, 2017

Many of us are lucky enough to have our parents around long enough for them to know their grandchildren and great-grandchildren. If you are one of the blessed, consider yourself lucky. However, there is one thing that you may eventually have to face – an aging parent who should not live at home alone anymore.

As a Folsom elder law attorney, I highly recommend that you talk to your parents while they are still healthy and active. If you haven’t, and an unforeseen circumstance is pushing you to confront the situation, it’s going to be rough. There’s no need to sugar-coat this fact. Even if the elderly parent is perfectly amiable, there may still be a strong emotional reaction from the parent that comes along with losing one’s independence. Hopefully, the guidance we are providing will ease that path.

If you don’t expect your parents to react well to the suggestion of moving out of their home, solicit help from others. If your parent has had an injury, let their doctor know that it would be very helpful if he or she brought up the touchy topic up during a visit. In some families, parents won’t hear you – perhaps because they still see you as their child – but they will listen to someone else. Even if you are both saying the same thing!

Then, there is the “m” word – if you don’t know your parents’ financial situation, now is the time to learn. Even if your parents are able to maintain control over their financial affairs now, there is a high probability that you will need to help, or even be forced to take things over in the very near future. Approach the topic with the idea of preparedness. Tell them you’ve been been learning a lot about estate planning and the next step it appears your family should take is to begin looking at mom and dad’s financial affairs so that if one becomes incapacitated, someone can step in and manage things until the parent regains their health. It is always helpful to paint this conversation in a supportive and positive light.

Finally, one of the very best ways you can help your parents get their affairs in order is to set a good example yourself! Why not go ahead and get your own will or trust taken care of? That way, your loved ones won’t be in financial chaos if something happens to you. The added bonus is that it gives you a platform for having “the talk” with your parents.

Nearly every day we get calls from adult children who are bringing in a parent that needs help getting their healthcare and financial documents in order. Believe me; it is much easier for everyone if we can work together before a medical crisis has occurred.

Set a good example! Give us a call today at (916) 241-9661 and we’ll schedule a consultation so that you can discuss your planning needs and concerns. All of our estate planning here in Folsom is done on a flat-fee basis so there are no surprises.

Free Resources

CLIENT Story

I was absolutely without a clue as to how to begin or what I should do to establish an estate plan. I did know that I wanted someone I could trust, that was honest and I would have confidence in. I was referred to Heather by my friend who was being legally advised by Heather on another estate. She was very satisfied with her work and thought I might be happy with her service. At our consultation appointment, her presentation was very thorough. I had lots of questions, and she was easy to talk to and was able to guide me to just the kind of estate plan I needed. That was 10 years ago. Due to circumstances in my life, I have had to make changes to my plan, and I always go back to her for her legal services and guidance. I have recommended Heather before.
Gwen

As Seen On